Charlie's Angels The Absolutely Nothing Show
by Irish Bug
Summary: See The Absolutely Nothing Show (LOTR) Summary in profile. Basically, it's insane, it's random, it's funny. With lots of crossovers later. R/R!!!!!!!!!!
1. Dylan the Leprechaun

A/N: You are warned.. This is the result of Autumn and Pip staying up late after watching Charlie's Angels and living at the same house for, what, 3 days. so far..  
  
THE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SHOW: CHARLIE'S ANGELS EDITION  
  
By: Autumn Fields and Pip J. Goodchild. (NO IMY!)  
  
..................................  
  
*Pip, Autty, and Angie come running in, pretending to be Charlie's Angels*  
  
Autty: NO! I wanna be Dylan!  
  
Pip: NO, I'm Dylan!  
  
Angie: I GETTA BE NATALIE!  
  
Pip & Autty: *blank looks* Fine.  
  
Natalie, Dylan, and Alex: *Walk on*  
  
Dylan: No, I getta be Dylan!  
  
Pip & Autty: Oh, you're here.  
  
Autty: Let's start the show!  
  
Announcer Dude: And now! *Baby Got Back begins to play* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *record screech*  
  
Natalie: *dances*  
  
*Theme Music plays*  
  
Announcer Dude: The Absolutely Nothing Show.. I need a new job..  
  
Angie: Then why didn't you stay in the Bahamas?  
  
Announcer Dude: .  
  
Pip: OK, so let's start the show! First question! DYLAN! Do you have any hair left?  
  
Dylan: *looks at hair* *sniff sniff* no.. *pulls off wig*  
  
Angie: *under breath* Stupid Creepy Thin Man..  
  
Silence..  
  
::Crickets::  
  
Pip: Angie?  
  
Angie: Hm?  
  
Pip: Look at Dylan. If you don't want that kind of look, I suggest you shut up.  
  
Angie: *Hides behind her 'Eep' sign*  
  
Alex: *starts flipping hair*  
  
All: O.O  
  
Autty: She does that too much..  
  
::One hour later::  
  
Alex: *Flipping hair*  
  
All: -_- zZZ  
  
Angie: *Wakes up* *hits gong*  
  
Alex: *falls on the floor* *starts choking on leather suit*  
  
All: 0.0 *Wake*  
  
*Voice from somewhere heard yelling like Tarzan*  
  
Bosley: *Falls in in Jeep*  
  
Nat: Hi Bosley. What are you doing here?  
  
Bos: This is the Charlie's Angels edition, Nat.  
  
Nat: Ooooooooooh, what am I doing here?  
  
Autty: Just go dance, Nat.  
  
Nat: OK! *Heaven Must Be Missing Angels plays as Nat dances in the background*  
  
Angie: *Holds up 'Oh Brother..' Sign*  
  
Audience: O.O  
  
::Crickets::  
  
Autty: You know, who is doing those crickets?  
  
Pip: Not me! I'm not doin' any crickets! *smokes Cricket*  
  
Bos: *sitting in Jeep playing Violin*  
  
Alex: *Still choking.* *Tries to get up on whip, um, thing from Red Star inspection and chokes*  
  
Nat: *Still dancing*  
  
Dylan: *Puts wig back on* *Picks nose Idly*  
  
Angie: You Angels are boring. Let's introduce someone else.  
  
Autty: NO, ANGELS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pip: No, CREEPY THIN MAN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Autty: *split personality change* ((A/N: The Autty who likes the Angels will be Autty, the Autty who likes Thin Man will be Autumn. K? K.))  
  
Autumny: CREEPY-`ANGEL`-THIN MAN!  
  
All: O.o ..  
  
Autumn: Creepy Thin Man..  
  
Creepy Thin Man: *Walks on smoking*  
  
Angie: How're we gonna interview him if he doesn't talk?  
  
Pip: LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!! Do you like Cheese?  
  
Creepy Thin Man: *smokes*  
  
Autumn: how old is your dog?  
  
CTM: *Smokes*  
  
Pip: Are you pretty?  
  
Autumn: yes..  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Autumn: How old is your cheese?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Pip: Do you like Natalie?  
  
Nat: *doing jumping jacks in background*  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Autumn: How old are you?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Pip: Stop the 'how old' questions!  
  
Autumn: How old is Natalie?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Autumn: How old is Bosley?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Autumn: How old are the 'how old' questions?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Autty: Are you a virgin?  
  
CTM: *coughs on smoke violently*  
  
Autty: ^-^ Heeheeheehee..  
  
Pip: YOU'RE KILLING HIM!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Creepy Thin Man CPR*  
  
Angie: Ew..  
  
Autty: No fair!  
  
Pip: Why did you need to know that?  
  
Autty: Oh, no reason. *shifty eyes*  
  
Angie: You saved his life and he's not able to say thank you.  
  
Autty: YES HE CAN! *Starts beating on Creepy Thin Man with his own cane (ooooooh, think about the irony..)*  
  
Pip: AAAAAAH! NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dylan: I'm a leprechaun..  
  
..................................  
  
A/N: OK, this is chappie 1. It is strange. But, so are all TANS things. Mental note, maybe you should read the LOTR Edition (soon to be many more) for there will be, erm, interesting crossovers. OK, bibi!!!!!!!!!! (next chappie up soon. hopefully..)  
  
~'*.:PIP:.*'~ ~*~Autumn Fields~*~  
  
PS: The "Oooh, think about the irony" thing was cuz we are Willard fans and it's really ironic.. YOU MUST SEE THAT MOVIE!  
That was not a subliminal message.. 


	2. Dylan The Easter Bunny

A/N: HELLO! It is 1:12 in the morning, and we just posted chappie 1! SO HERE'S CHAPPIE 2!  
  
..................................  
  
Announcer dude: Previously on The Absolutely Nothing Show!  
  
*Flashback thing*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Autty: Are you a virgin?  
  
CTM: *coughs on smoke violently*  
  
Autty: ^-^ Heeheeheehee..  
  
Pip: YOU'RE KILLING HIM!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Creepy Thin Man CPR*  
  
Angie: Ew..  
  
Autty: No fair!  
  
Pip: Why did you need to know that?  
  
Autty: Oh, no reason. *shifty eyes*  
  
Angie: You saved his life and he's not able to say thank you.  
  
Autty: YES HE CAN! *Starts beating on Creepy Thin Man with his own cane (ooooooh, think about the irony..)*  
  
Pip: AAAAAAH! NO!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dylan: I'm a leprechaun..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Announcer Dude: And now back to, ooh, cake! *Begins eating cake.*  
  
Autty: *attempting to beat words out of Creepy Thin Man*  
  
Pip: *Trying to get her off him*  
  
Angie: *Staring in awe at the fact that she befriended them*  
  
Bos: *Playing fight music on violin* *switches to playing Harry Potter music*  
  
CTM: GET OFF ME ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *freeze* O.O *gasp*  
  
Angie: He. spoke..  
  
Pip: He has a sexy voice..  
  
Autumn: I know..  
  
Pip: What the hell is wrong with you? You tried to kill him!  
  
Autumn: I did?  
  
Angie: She has split personalities..  
  
Pip: Well, poop.  
  
CTM: *covers mouth*  
  
Angie: No, too late.  
  
CTM: *Shakes head* No it's not. AH! *covers mouth*  
  
Nat: Hey look, he said something!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CTM: Uh.. *runs and takes a handful of Autumn's hair*  
  
Autty: HEY! My hair is just as short as yours is and I don't wanna look like her! *Points to Dylan*  
  
Dylan: CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away crying for Charlie*  
  
Alex: I'M ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bos: *throws violin at her*  
  
Alex: *Out for the count*  
  
Autty: *Attacks Creepy Thin Man*  
  
CTM: *Does that weird scream*  
  
Autty: Heeheeheehee, you scream like a girl..  
  
Pip: You're mean.  
  
Autumn: Oh, but you're so adorable!  
  
Angie: Does she hate him or love him?  
  
Pip: I dunno, but she can't have him! HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Frodo and Merry: *walk in*  
  
Pip: HE'S MINE!  
  
Autumn: MINE!  
  
Frodo and Merry: *gasp like Doc from Back to the Future* CHEATERS!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pip and Autumn: Uh, um.. We're not cheating on you..  
  
CTM: *rolling on the floor laughing* YES THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Merry: Woah, he can talk?  
  
Frodo: EXCELLENT! ((Thank you Anakin))  
  
Pippin: Remember the witch and Hobbit in bed thing?  
  
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CTM: *chases them of stage* *comes back smiling*  
  
Pip & Autumn: He's pretty..  
  
Autty: AH! *Beats CTM with cane*  
  
Vivian: *comes on and kicks Autty*  
  
Autty: *disappears in trap door on stage* *appears behind Vivian* *Pokes her in the head*  
  
Viv: Ow..  
  
Elijah Wood: *Walks on stage* *looks at Vivian* MOMMY!!!!!!!!!! *runs to Viv*  
  
Viv: *shoots him*  
  
Elijah: *falls on floor* *pops back up* MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Viv: *Shoots again*  
  
Elijah: *falls on floor* *pops back up* MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Viv: *shoots again*  
  
Elijah: *falls on floor* *pops back up* MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Viv: *shoots again*  
  
Elijah: *falls on floor* *pops back up* MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Viv: *shoots again*  
  
Elijah: *dies*  
  
::1-foot-tall The Chad comes in with a giant novelty broom with a 'Firebolt' logo on the handle and cleans up Elijah's dead, bloody corpse*  
  
Pip: OK, that was strange..  
  
Angie: *Holds up 'O.O' sign*  
  
Audience: *O.O* (I wonder why..)  
  
Autty: Um, let's ask a question. Vivian, how old are you?  
  
Pip: *Begins choking Autty* WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FLIPPING HOW OLD QUESTIONS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
CTM: Ooh, lemme help! *hits Autty with cane (THINK ABOUT THE IRONY!!!!!!!!!!)*  
  
Angie: That's not cool..  
  
Bos: I need to get some food.. *runs Viv over with Jeep on the way out*  
  
The Chad: *cleans her up*  
  
Autty: Two Wood's down, seven to go.  
  
Angie: Who?  
  
Autty: Marty Wood, Clarence Wood, Michael Wood, Emmett Wood, Clara Wood, Jules Wood, Verne Wood! ^-^  
  
Pip: Interesting hit list..  
  
Autty: And Creepy Thin Man Wood!  
  
CTM: My last name is not Wood!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Pip: What is your name, anyway?  
  
CTM: *smokes*  
  
Pip: COME ON!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CTM: ALL RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! My name is Crispin Glover.  
  
All: *freeze*  
  
Pip: Ooooooooooooh, crispy!  
  
Autumn: YAY!  
  
Angie: Right..  
  
Dylan: *head pops on stage* I'm the Easter Bunny.  
  
..................................  
  
A/N: Right, that was strange. It is now 1:50. I think we should go to bed. In the next chapter of.  
  
THE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SHOW!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bum...  
  
Bum......  
  
bum........... 


End file.
